12/04/09

Peggle Days and Peggle Nights in PErGatory 

Dear Diary,

I know I've gone on about my deep love (although non-sexual) for Peggle so many times before, but this feeling I have now... is different.  Not different in the "Edward Cullen is different because he sparkles" kind of way... more in the "I just played Modern Warfare 2, and no one was camping... that's different" kind of way.  You see, I know I was once a little obsessed with Peggle, what with playing it for 17 hours straight and pouring milk all over my face (and not even caring), and all... but then I went astray.  I knew that too much of anything was not a good thing, and so I quit cold turkey and with time, began to love myself again. 

I thought my wounds had healed, never to be reopened, when a new mistress came along and caught my eye.  A darker mistress.  A mistress of the (Peggle) Night(s), if you will.  She came at a cheap price (400 MS points), and I thought I should take a shot at her.  I gave her two nights of action, but in the end, she only served as a reminder... a reminder of the one who came before her.  My beloved Peggle.  I did my best to resist the temptation, but her call was too strong.  I wasn't finished with her, and she and I both knew it. 

It started earlier this week... Monday, I think.  I decided to go back to my love and make another attempt at conquering her harshest challenges.  Brutal tests of a man's courage and resolve.  Some of them came easily (1 Ball Remaining, I laugh at you, mournfully), and then there were the final three.  One requiring me to complete ten random levels in a row, one which would require me to score over 750,000 points on a level of my choosing, and one that would require me to score 1,000,000 over the course of three chosen levels. 

It was the beauty of the six zeroes that made me choose the third of these tests of the damned.

For four nights, I toiled with the three levels.  I wanted to break my controller, my television, my Xbox 360, and a random stranger's head, but I feared that this "crime of passion" would keep me separated from my dearest Peggle for even longer, should I become incarcerated.  I maintained my composure for the most part (by eating Mint Chocolate M&Ms and drinking Molson Golden), until the unthinkable happened.  A moment that would test my very soul.

There are simply no words in the English language which would accurately convey the emotion I was feeling at that moment.  I have, however, compiled a list of words which, if combined in to one super word, might come close:

• Angry
• Volatile
• Sad
• Betrayed
• Hungry
• Unaroused

I went to bed last night despondent.  I began to question life, the universe, and, well... everything.  I fell asleep before truly understanding string theory.  For a moment, I considered kicking that whore, Peggle, to the curb and focusing solely on games that have Chris Cashman as the host.  When I awoke this morning, I wrote my daily news article for TEAMRnD.com, and upon its completion, turned on my Xbox Three Hundred and Sixty.  I saw that none of my friends were online, and decided to play (a game) with by myself.  I saw Peggle sitting there, looking so lovely in the non-3 AM daylight, and decided to give her one last shot before giving up on her, no... us, forever.  We started off as we always do, flirting with success, but never "sealing the deal".  She could sense my desperation.  She knew she had won.  She had broken me. 

Then she did what she does best.  When I least expect it, she gives me exactly what I need.  She lifts me up to the highest mountains, just so she can knock me back down again.  There it was:

So, we're okay now.  We're still in love, and we've still got a long way to go.  Two more challenges await... and then we'll start spending our (Peggle) Nights together. 

Oh, and one other thing, Diary--please don't tell Chris Cashman about this.  I don't need him finding out that Peggle and I are trying to work things out.  I'm still planning on meeting him tonight at 10 PM EST.  You can keep a secret, right?

-Jason Omega